Travelling back and forth between Fiji and Canada not only takes a great deal of time due to the long international flight and layover times as well as challenges with travel within Fiji, but it also takes a lot of mental energy to adjust to the changes in culture, language, the speed of life, and just getting caught up with all that’s happened since my last visit or since I left home. After almost 2 weeks back in Fiji, I’m starting to feel like I’m settling back into life at the farm. While my time in Canada was longer than expected at almost 3 months rather than the planned 7 weeks it was time well spent.
When we retired and moved to Fiji Arthur and I knew that leaving our family back in Canada would be at times difficult and that we would need to be committed to returning when needed. This was one of those times. My mother has been living with Alzheimer’s Dementia for well over 15 years. Her earliest signs of cognitive loss showed in her early to mid 60s as she started to demonstrate memory loss, difficulty adapting to new situations, and difficulty using computers and technology. By her early to mid 70s she started having difficulty with complex tasks or situations, gave up attending her book club and reading books (a huge loss to her), and stopped driving. While the progression of her disease in the early years was slow and difficult to recognise, in recent years the progression of her dementia has been relentless. My father has been dedicated to ensuring Mom has been able to live a full, enjoyable and safe life at home. As she was unable to do tasks, he was there to take them on. He has become pretty good at putting together a nutritious meal, which for someone who never cooked is quite the accomplishment.
This past August her disease progressed to the point it was no longer safe to care for her at home and she was admitted to the Vancouver General Hospital. We had hoped that with the right care and medication that she could be transferred quickly to a dementia unit in a long term care facility but nothing is ever so straightforward. Mom is now being cared for in a psycho-geriatric unit at VGH that specialising in developing appropriate medication and care plans for dementia clients with the goal of eventual transfer to a long-term care facility. Dad continues to visit her regularly and we’ve hired additional personal support workers to provide companionship.
I was really glad that I have the flexibility in my life right now to have been able to support my Mom and Dad during this period of turmoil and complete overhaul of their life together. And I’m very thankful for Arthur’s understanding and patience as I extended my time away from him and the farm.
I’ve included a few picture of my mother below in celebration of the full life my Mom has led and continues to lead.
November 30, 2017
Alzheimer’s disease is such a cruel disease in that it robs the very essence of our loved one…their memories, their personality, and leaving its wake the shell of the person. And this is especially hard when it is happening to such a bright, engaged, vivacious person as Aunt Liz. It is hard to imagine her not reading, quilting or sharing wonderful stories of her book club, her career, and her family. I think it was so wonderful that you could be there to help your parents at this tough time. It sounds like all that can be done right now is being done. Sending you and yours lots of positive thoughts, energy and prayers.
November 30, 2017
Obviously your parents raised a wonderful, caring, dedicated daughter who values her family in both nations. I so enjoyed our tea dates and catching up. Let me know if you need any farm/building implements secured and shipped.
November 30, 2017
So nice to see the pictures Karen. I hope the right place for your mom will be found soon. It is a hard situation when the parents are so far away, even though you have been prepared. Take care and greetings to Arthur (and kids).